OK, Ma, You Win!

I surrender, you have finally gotten even for all the rotten things I did when I was a kid!

What, you might ask, am I talking about? You all know about the "mother's curse," right? You know, when you are a kid and driving her insane and she says, "I hope you have a kid just like you!" Well, I foolishly thought I had escaped. Nope.

See, I didn't have kids. Any time I even thought about it, I remembered that curse. But now I have my 83 year old child! And believe me, he is more than enough for Mom to get even.

Miss out on not sleeping through the night? Oh, no. We periodically have these nights where he yells at me multiple times and wakes me up. Like last night. We had "I'm cold" after he managed to throw his electric blanket on the floor. We had "I'm thirsty" and of course I had to remind him he didn't drink all of his tea like I told him to before he went to bed. We had "I need some tylenol." We had "What time is it?" at 3:00 a.m. No, I don't know why. Then we had "Aren't you going to work?" at 6:00 a.m. Nope, it's Saturday, but thanks for getting me up. Again.

Miss out on diapers? Well, Depends are close enough in my book. We go through times when he insists on wearing them. I admit, I don't complain, it does save some messes. Then he goes through times when he doesn't want anything to do with them. What can I say. Isn't like I can make him put them on.

Miss out on messes? Oh, no, believe me, we have plenty. Like yesterday, the Meals on Wheels people gave him this pretty glass ornament with his dinner. At least, I guess it was pretty. All I really know is, it was glass, round, and had a bunch of water based blue paint or dye inside. This I know because there were pieces of glass and blue slime all over my kitchen floor when I got home last night. And blue footprints, or sockprints, all over the house. I like the Meals on Wheels people, I really do, but what the DEVIL were they thinking?!

Then there was his birthday cake, which this year was an ice cream cake. After he got done, he had ice cream all over his face, shirt, hands...

I'm not sure I missed out on the potty training aspect, either. You know how a little kid will avoid going to the bathroom until the very last second... and you know what happens. Yep, it's fun. I also made the mistake of letting him have a commode in his room to encourage him to drink more (some days I think I need to drink more) since he complained about having to get up to go to the bathroom at night. It's now a regular for him to go to bed at 7:00 and an hour later I hear this little voice: "I made poopoo" or "I made a stinker." I am often tempted to just ignore it and make him put up with "the stinker," but since the stink doesn't remain confined to his room, I haven't given in to that temptation.

You think it's hard to get kids to eat decent meals? Kids ain't got nothin' on this one! He flat refuses to eat things that were nearly daily staples. Like salad, fruit, any potatos except french fries, and most veggies. He won't touch soup of any variety. Asked him what he wanted for Christmas dinner, he says a hamburger. WHAT?

Can I ask, why don't they make Garanimals clothes in his size? Of course, I don't think he would bother trying to match anything up, anyway. I'm just happy he puts clothes on. There was the day when I came home and he told me the Meals on Wheels lady helped him put his pants on. And the day I came home and he was sitting in his chair in his underwear and told me he couldn't find his clothes. I often wonder what those Meals on Wheels people think...

Remember your parents yelling at you to stop wasting water, turn off the lights, that kind of stuff? At least I know I did on many occasions when I was a kid. Now, he turns on every light he can reach and leaves them on. Insists I leave a light, not a night light, on in his room all night. He runs enough water brushing his teeth to fill a bathtub. He also has this strange toilet flushing thing going on, he always flushes at least 3 times. I'm not sure if he forgets he already flushed or what the problem is, but I figure 'tis better to flush than not flush, at least from my perspective, so I just leave it alone.

He is a goofball, we all knew that a long time ago. I guess I'm a glutton for punishment, I have to admit, I wouldn't do anything different if I had it all to do over again.